Lowering Your Standards


Once upon a time I worked for a miniature company you may have heard of called Games Workshop. Games Workshop would hold two annual tournaments. One was for staff and the other for the public. Both tournaments required all models be completely painted in order to be played. I would typically spend several months ahead of time planning and meticulously painting each model to the best of my ability in order to win the “Best Painted Army” award, which I was fortunate to achieve a couple of times.

Fast forward to today. I no longer seem to have the patience to paint models to showcase or competition level. Now, I find it quite frustrating if a single model takes me longer than two painting sessions to complete or a unit to take more than four painting sessions to complete. I can still achieve pretty decent results but the quality suffers a bit. If you’re not painting for competition and just want to get your models on the table then you may consider lowering your standards. This article may help you out as it’s all about painting to tabletop quality.


This lovely female painter is lowering her standards a bit.

This lovely female painter is lowering her standards a bit.

Architect of the Divine

Stolen shamelessly, but somewhat appropriate...

Stolen shamelessly, but somewhat appropriate…


Okay it’s been too long and I never got off my butt and finished showing the stuff I picked up from Templecon, but we’re going to struggle and work through that as soon as i can get this stuff done.  And I’m working on it, so apologies to all for the lengthy absence again.

I recently had the privilege of receiving the Lost Hemisphere Blog’s review copy of Father Lucant, the Divinity Architect to assemble and paint, and let me tell you what a joy it was.



Creative list building vs. “the meta”


Meta (from the Greek preposition and prefix meta- (μετά-) meaning “after” or “beyond”) is a prefix used in English to indicate a concept which is an abstraction from another concept, used to complete or add to the latter. 

If you’re anything like me, the first time you heard the word ‘meta’ it was probably attached to the word gaming, you usually heard it playing RPGs like Dungeons & Dragons, and it wasn’t something you wanted to be accused of.  Meta gaming meant using your out-of-character knowledge to make in-character decisions and was typically most loathed when it was done for personal gain.  But I digress, many of you dear readers may not be as nerdy as I am and perhaps the first time you heard it was in the Warmachine and Hordes community where it gets thrown around so often.   If you listen to any of the multitude of podcasts on the subject (including the brilliant and amazing Lost Hemisphere Radio Podcast) you’ll hear the term thrown around a lot, but what does it mean to you?

The way people in this community use the term it basically means ‘the style or styles of play that are most advantageous and/or successful within the current rules, accepting the current range of models available for play’.  In other words; whatever is working right now.  That is the basic concept of Warmachine meta.  It is different from place to place and highly affected by the size of group playing the game at or in any given event or community, but it’s a fascinating concept and it’s a neat experience to travel to Cons, tournaments and even just stores outside of your local in order to see other metas.  Something that I have been noticing more and more recently is the trickle down from the national meta to the store level meta, probably because of the massive increase in the popularity of Warmachine podcasts these last few years.  People hear casters or other models reviewed poorly or read that they are bad on the forums and simply dismiss them without a further look, instead favouring options more popular on the forums or among the top national players.  On the one hand I think this is great because it gives payers everywhere a chance to try out a list or some tech that one of the best in the world put together, but on the other hand I worry that newer players may get sucked into the whirlpool of competitive play before they have a chance to bask in the glory that is the storyline, themes and narrative of the Iron Kingdoms – and of course the basics of the game itself.  It’s important to get a firm grasp of the basics before diving into last year’s Warmachine Weekend winner’s Masters list.  You want to remember that the game is fun too, and keep it that way for yourself and others as often as possible.  That’s most of what I want to address today but before I get too carried away:

Hoppy Easter!

Steampunk Bunny seemed appropriate, no?


It’s been a while, and anyone wondering where we’ve been at Hobby Hysteria, well, I won’t bore you with the details but let it be known we’re aware we’ve been gone for a while.  For me, Swimming Pool season is finally here after one of the longest, harshest winters in my 38 years of life.  Ice storms, Polar Vortexes, Cold booms and the unrelenting assault of snowfall after snowfall had my industry very worried.  Thankfully the warmer weather has begun and we can get out there and get some things done.  Like this, for instance:


This is how a pool should look when you peel the cover off...

This is how a pool should look when you peel the cover off…


I opened this pool Saturday and was pleased to see that the winter had been easy on this pool; very little debris, just some sand and silt on the bottom that needed to be vacuumed up, and when I was finished it looked even better.


A little cloudy but clean and ready for heat and swimming!

A little cloudy but clean and ready for heat and swimming!


Shocked, tested and balanced, and ready to be used once it warms up (the water was around 40 degrees, or 4C, when I took this photo).

I guess what I am saying is thanks for understanding, for being patient, and for reading anything we post up here when we do get around to it.   I promise there is more coming this week, with a submission from a good friend even!!

Happy Easter Monday, and keep on being Hysterical!


– NB

Deathbot Unboxing Begins!

Stolen shamelessly, but somewhat appropriate...

Stolen shamelessly, but somewhat appropriate…


Without much ado and any further delay, let’s start the blog articles showing you what was in those lovely blisters and boxes acquired from TempleCon 2014!


First up is one I think a lot of people were waiting for, the Iron Mother herself, Directrix and her Exponent Servitors.  This was a heavy blister containing all the pieces you will need to construct your own Deathbot Warcaster Vessel and her floating hoverbots.


Chock full of robot-y goodness with none of the distracting nougat.

Chock full of robot-y goodness with none of the distracting nougat.

Post TempleCon Blues


Having just returned from TempleCon 2014 and made reparations at home for my time away, I find myself a bit morose and melancholy at my desk as i write this, thinking of all the people I already miss and all the fun I just had.  If no one minds I think I’ll go back through some of the highlights here and talk about why TempleCon means the world to me.

Fearing the approaching snowmaggeddon, we hastily decided last Tuesday to depart early and drive all night to beat the majority of the snow and mess that would come with a Winter Snowstorm the day we were meant to drive 8 hours to Rhode Island.  We LITERALLY would have been driving through the worst part of the storm for the majority of the day, and that is not something I really wanted to do.  So rushed packing and hasty departures had Ragnarok and myself in the car and on the road by 8 PM, hoping beyond hope to not hit snow till early Wednesday.  We made good time and crossed the border fast after an awesome chat about being unique and different with the border guard and quickly got underway crossing the desolate space that is the I-90 in New York State.  Making but one pit stop for gas and a bio-break, we had what i consider to be a pretty good run all the way to Warwick, Rhode Island and the Crowne Plaza hotel.  We had heard from the second car that they were getting some snow, and I expected to get hit when we started to head south towards Providence/Warwick, but fortunately our car made it all the way to the hotel with no snow.  We checked into our room at around 4:45 AM Wednesday and went back out to get the bags from my car, only to be greeted by 2cm of snow already down in the time it took us to check in.


This was clear 5 minutes ago...

This was clear 5 minutes ago…

I’m Conning your Temple, 2014!


That’s right people, it is Thursday, February the 6th of 2014 and right now, somewhere in the Crowne Plaza hotel in Warwick, RI I am sleeping off the first of many nights of copious amounts of drinking.  Alternatively I haven’t slept and am in the line to get access to the new Privateer Press shinies when their booth opens in the morning, hoping beyond hope that Stryker3, Vengeance Softcover and ALL THE CONVERGENCE DEATHBOTS pre release models will be mine.  TempleCon 2014 is here, and the best FOUR days in gaming have begun.  Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, but it’s fine to resent me for the fact that i am here amongst many friends and fans of the Warmachine & Hordes games (including High Command!).

…Exploding On The Highway Like a Slug From a .45


Speed Painting 101

A common question I receive from friends is “How do you paint so fast?”.

It’s not uncommon for me to hammer out a full 50+ point army in roughly a month’s time.  How do I do this?  It’s likely a combination of experience and technique.  I’ll just run down some quick pointers and then there’s a 52 min video of me painting a Bull Snapper model from start to finish.


 photo olsen_01_zpsb9e50771.jpg

Wear a smock or something if you’re going to speed paint like this guy!

Year of the Alligator


I’ve been known to play a bit with the less popular factions. I love the underdog. To this end, for about a quarter of 2013 I was playing the Pigmen of the Iron Kingdoms, the Farrow Thornfall Alliance. I had specifically avoided collecting the Blindwater Congregation (Gatormen) side of the faction because it was generally deemed the more competitive half, especially after Rask had been released. Now, for whatever reason, I’ve got my competitive juices flowing and I’m ready to get back to my winning ways and pulling no punches so here come the Gators.

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What? Oh. No, not THAT Rask…